• Kylie van Gelder

4 Easy Steps to Discover Your Purpose

What do pilots, lawyers, mechanics, doctors, hair stylists and money hungry CEOs all have in common? They've known exactly what it is they've wanted to do their ENTIRE life!


Talk about winning the lottery in the work in your hobby department!

I know this because my husband is a pilot. Even when he's not working, he's watching the sky, checking flight radar apps, playing flight simulator or talking shop with anyone who will listen.


For many oh years I was a little envious. I flip flopped from job to job, mainly looking for a paycheque. While I nailed down the "how to pretend you like you job" part, I never really, truly loved what I was doing.


Oddly enough, it is kind of sort of normal to not love everything about your job. What isn't kind of sort of normal is to not like who your job makes you, how it makes you feel and to offer up the very regular amount of complaining about your particular career choice.


When you love what you are doing, it's because you're doing it from a place of passion and purpose.


The very small percentage of those who know exactly what they want to do are actually the weirdos. The rest of us who fall into the "I have no clue" department are the statistically normal ones.


But in reality, us "normals" are actually missing out on living as our truest, most authentic self.


And while I refer to "us" as if I'm still in the normal group, I will be totally honest, lately I've been boarding the weirdo train and it's flipping fantastic!


I've discovered that I don't have 1 single purpose, but multiple. I love doing multiple things and this is awesome in so many ways!


Here are 4 easy ways to get on board the weirdo train to start living your purpose:


  1. Stop listening to everyone else! The HUGE, MEGA difference between the normal people and the living their purpose weirdos is that the weirdos only listen to themselves when it comes time to making major career and life decisions. They know full well what they want to do, because they don't allow their mom, dad, best friend, partner or neighbour to tell them otherwise. Their dream of becoming a rock star, author or event planner in the middle of a pandemic is so much stronger than anyone else's opinion or judgement. To stop listening to everyone else, smile politely and ignore what they're saying. You can also decide to keep your life changes to yourself until you're good and ready.

  2. Switch off the negative voice in your head and think about the things that make you smile and feel good. We're so caught up with the internal chit chat of "You're not good enough." or "You're too old." or "What the hell is wrong with you?" that we don't let ourselves truly enjoy what we love. We allow the negative voice to drive the bus. Stop for a few minutes each day and quietly sit, either in meditation or simply alone for 5-10 minutes without distractions. Ask yourself this What do I love doing that makes me smile and makes me feel good? It doesn't have to be something as clear as "I love airplanes." Mine were I love sharing my opinion (ok sometimes it's not welcome and I'm working on this), when I write I feel free, I really love helping other women discover their value, I absolutely love working boss free and for some extremely strange reason, I get excited when I public speak (something that used to scare the shit out of me). From here, I slowly but surely started living into these. Now I'm not saying things will happen over night, but if you start acknowledging what makes you happy, what makes you FEEL GOOD and what makes you say "Man I wish I could do more of that.", then this is what you start living into. Find ways to do more of what makes you happy and what you love! Hire a coach, talk to people who are already doing what you feel you want to be doing, read personal development stuff and start tossing the bullshit excuses out of your head!

  3. What do you day dream about? What we day dream about is a window into the life we're truly meant to be living. Stop every day and fantasize, no not about the hottie who moved in down the street or about telling your co-worker where to shove it, but about the life you really want. Who's in it? What are you doing? How do you look? How do you feel? When I first started doing this, I started with training. Like I said above, I love helping other women. I day dreamed about giving workshops. On what, I had no flipping clue. I was just up there, flipping over paper on one of those big stand thingies and talking about something. Not only this, I imagined getting paid to do it! I still do this, daily. As I develop more into my purpose, my imagination continues to expand and all sorts of ideas pop in my head. I feel into them to see if they excite me, even scare me a little, or if they seem to be a blah feeling.

  4. Journal your way onboard the weirdo train With every thought, feeling and sensation of holy crap, could I really do this, write it down!! You want to keep track of your likes and dislikes. Journal the shit out of them. Journaling is like putting money towards a ticket on the know-your-purpose-weirdo train.

Discovering your purpose isn't like walking into a have-all-the-answers store. Most people have multiple purposes and only discover these as they age, through life experiences. Those weirdos who are born knowing are fewer than you think. Follow your heart, not the thoughts of others. Do what makes you feel good and ignore the excuses and bullshit in your head. Focus on your dreams, your actual fantasies, and note all of this down. By doing this, you will discover your happy place of purpose, which will lead you to start living as your true, authentic self.


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